ては叶(かな)わないIt's unbearable when, It'd be unbearable if, I can't stand it when, I couldn’t stand it if

In order to convey that something is undesirable, the grammar structure てはかなわない may be used. This combines the conjunction particle て, the adverbial particle は, and the negative form of the う-Verb 叶(かな)う ‘to grant (a wish)’, or ‘to realize (a goal)’. This may be interpreted as ‘it’s unbearable when (A)’, or ‘I can’t stand it when (A)’. However, the literal translation is ‘it’s not a dream come true for (A)’.

When used following verbs, the (A) verb is often in the passive. This indicates that the speaker does not like being the target or victim of (A). However, standard verb structures may also be seen.

In addition to this, てはかなわない may follow the conjunctive form of い-Adjectives, or appear as ではかなわない when following な-Adjectives.

Caution

Although many grammar structures frequently appear in hiragana, making their original kanji hard to identify, it will be important not to mix up 叶(かな)う ‘to grant’ with 敵(かな)う ‘to be a match for’. Grammatically, these verbs are both used quite differently.