Know what pronouns to use and when, to refer to yourself and others

You and I, Me and You


In this Bonus Topic, we're going to learn about Japanese pronouns (words like 'I', 'you', 'he', 'she'). Unlike English, Japanese doesn't use pronouns if it can be helped. Despite this, there is a large selection of pronouns which are context-sensitive, making it seem complex at first.

We'll look at the essential first-person pronouns (like 'I') and second-person pronouns (like 'you'), and third person pronouns (like 'they').

Details


Let's go over the essential pronouns one by one.

All About Me

The way someone refers to themselves can give us a lot of information about them and the context they are in.

(わたし)is the most basic, common, and safe option. It is used by all genders and ages in polite situations, and used by many women in casual situations as well. Note that in some situations 私 can be pronounced わたくし which sounds more elevated, but this is a more advanced point.

For men, there are a couple of other very common options. (ぼく) isn't polite, but it also isn't rude. It's the safe choice for casual male speech (or talking to equals). On the other hand, (おれ) can sound much rougher, and it can be rude if used when speaking to a stranger or superior. These days, most men tend to use (おれ) among friends.

All About You

Japanese has a variety of ways of saying 'you', however they can sometimes come across as rude in the wrong context.

あなた is technically the most neutral way to refer to someone as 'you'. It is often used when the identity of the person is unknown. It can sound very direct in a face-to-face conversation, especially with someone you know.

To avoid the awkwardness of referring to someone as あなた, people will often refer to others by their title, their name, or role. The below examples are just for reference. No need to remember them!

Notice the さん and (さま) suffixes? As you may already know, these are added to names or nouns to show respect. In general, さん is used with people you don't know well or are not close with such as strangers, colleagues, etc. (さま) is a lot more respectful, and therefore rarer, so is used for people in very esteemed positions (including customers!).

Is He Your Boyfriend Or…?

The way to refer to 'he' or 'she' is simple. (かれ) is used for 'he' or 'him'; 彼女(かのじょ) is used for 'she' or 'her'.

Careful though, as these words have a double meaning! 彼女(かのじょ) is also the standard word for 'girlfriend', while (かれ) can be used to mean 'boyfriend', though 彼氏(かれし) is the more specific word, which helps avoid some confusion.

But On TV I Heard Them Say...

You may have heard the words お(まえ) or (きみ) (both meaning 'you') before in anime or other media. Although widely used in fiction, they can sometimes be rude in real life contexts, so are best used with caution.

(まえ) may be used between good friends, but it is especially blunt. It can even be used as an insult when arguing.

On the other hand, (きみ) is softer, but in real life it is most regularly used when someone from a position of authority is speaking down to someone (such as a schoolteacher), among close male peers, or between people in a romantic relationship.

There is no need to perfect the exact nuances of these words right now. We will also learn more about the different ways characters speak on TV shows and in media at a later date!

Meeting at the Party


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